Spotlight: Justin’s Words

 

My Brothers & Sisters…Please Read my words. Enjoy

The Law of Expectations.

Most people have an unrealistic expectation of love and relationships diminish before they even get a chance to prevail. Some females expect a relationship to be a fairy tale without any tribulations and hard times. Some dudes expect to find that perfect woman who doesn’t complain. And waits on them hand and feet for the rest of their lives without them ever having to lift a finger. It is not going to happen at least not 100 percent of the time. No one can give you their best all of time but it matters they give you their best the majority of the time.

EVERYONE has bad days.

As long as you are in a relationship even if you and the person are great for each other. There will be problems some people problems are bigger then others.Some are correctable and some are simply unforgivable. Even a real person has flaws the key is admitting them and the mistakes you made and learn for those mistakes and try to correct them as well traveling down the path to better yourself. And do whatever it takes to make up for your mistakes and be worthy in earning your forgiveness.

But what I realized about life and love is that they never go the way that you want to go all of the time. That is simply impossible. You will love, argue, disappoint each other (not necessarily in that order). It is easy to love someone when everything is smelling like roses. But the challenge is what will you do when the person you love is going through changes and is going through something that is altering their normal behavior? Will you be there to be supportive and devote all of your energy to uplifting them. Or will you ridicule and belittle them and just adding salt to the wound?

Love is beautiful even though it can have its repulsive moments that can bring out frustration and unusual and regrettable behavior. But just like a rose love comes with thorns but once you get pass the thorns. And you open yourself up to new possibilities you can reap some rewards in the universe of love that can change your life for the better forever. The decision is yours.

If you are investing your hopes and dreams on finding a perfect relationship, You might as well stay single because you will be sadly disappointed. You have greater chances of obtaining a great relationship by establishing concrete expectations and communicate them with an potential partner. You also as a person have to build towards achieving your expectations by putting your partner in the best position to succeed and not creating inconceivable standards. Love is a battle don’t make it any harder then it has to be.

Racial Profiling for Dummies… or Racist…Which Pretty Much Are One in the Same…

Okay.  Imagine having someone who looks very similar to you.  You look so much alike that people can’t tell you apart.  This person has a really bad reputation.  They steal, they murder people, and they are lazy, con artist… They have done all sorts of awful things.  The thing is, everywhere you go people think you are them!  Because this person stole before they follow you around the store, lock their doors when you walk pass, women hold their purses tighter, and you get accused over and over again of stealing.  Even when you have been found innocent, you are still guilty because you look like this person.

 

The cops show up to your door constantly because you always fit the description of the perpetrator.  Sometimes when they find who the actual perpetrator is, you are shocked because they look nothing like you!  One time you saw this woman running down the street with blood on her face.  You gave her ride to the hospital.  When the police got there, you became the number one suspect.  They took you in for questioning for 16 hours until the lady told them you were not the one who assaulted her. 

 

You have just had a long day at work and you are tired.  You were so tired that you decided to ride home with your coworker who was also very tired.  Your co worker was so tired that he did not notice that one of their parking lights were out.  The police pull you over, they come to the car window yelling and demanding to see id.  Three more police cars pull up.  They are shining flashlights in the car and demanding to see your id as well.  You ask them why they want your id because you are not the one driving.  They tell you to get out of the car.  You ask why again.  They yank open the door, pull you out, sling you hard on the ground, put you in cuffs, you were resisting.  They have their guns trained on you.  They run a background check.  It is clean, but they have to charge with something.

 

No matter what you do they always have something negative to say.  If you don’t have a job you are lazy and leeching off of the system.  If you do have a job you only got it because of affirmative action and you are taking jobs from people who don’t look like you.  You are looked down on if you live in the hood, but when you finally make enough money to live in a better neighborhood, they don’t want you as a neighbor.  You drive a nice car so you either stole it or you sell drugs.  You got an athletic scholarship to college, so you must be dumb. 

 

When you complain about it all, you are whining; too sensitive; a hater; and if you can’t deal with it you should “go back” to a country that you have never gone to before nor have any connect, family, or friends.  But I digress…

 

 

 

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The Black Box

The Black Box

There is this black box.

It’s huge with all sorts of stuff in it.

Every corner of it is stuffed.

There is no more space in it.

There is no air to breath or no room to move.

Inside of this black box, it is loud.

Loud voices that sound strange and full of made up words that don’t make sense.

Loud music with bad words, sex, drugs, violence, and hate set to the beat of a drum.

Loud men, with louder women, with the loudest children…

Inside of this black box, it is ghetto.

Dirty streets lined with litter and people with nothing to do.

Fatherless teenagers pushing strollers full of fatherless babies.

Jobless, angry men who steal, kill, sell, and abuse drugs.

Ugly, angry women who sell their bodies for shiny trinkets.

Inside of this black box, it is ignorant.

Uneducated children going to a school every day to learn nothing.

Uneducated children sitting in front of teachers who teach nothing.

No books to read or dusty, brand new books that no one reads.

No wrinkled high school graduation gowns in the back of the closet.

No outdated college text cluttering the bookcase.

There is this black box.

I don’t fit in it, but you keep bending my legs and arms trying to stuff me in anyways.

Fuck you and your damn box.

He Hates Me

He Hates Me Because I’m Black

No one wants to be on the losing team.

Everyone wants to be associated with the beautiful, the wanted, the desired…

When he looks at me, he is disguised, embarrassed, and disconnected…

He hates my black, curly hair because it’s not long, smooth, and flowing.

He hates my dark, chocolate skin because it’s not pale or peachy.

He hates my voice, my body, and everything I stand for because it reminds him too much of blackness.

He doesn’t want to see my hurts because they remind him of his hurts.

He doesn’t want to see my pain because they remind him of his pain.

He doesn’t want to see my truths because they remind him of his lies.

He doesn’t want to see because he looks like me.

He hates me because I am black, but so is he.

Nigger Bitch

White Man Uses Racial Slurs On Black Wife In Bed | Celebrity News & Style for Black Women.

http://hellobeautiful.com/2633912/black-woman-white-husband-racial-slurs-essence/

When I read this article, it really hit home for me.  I think it is why I haven’t dated outside of my race since this happened to me.  I guess I am afraid it will happen again.

I met this guy who lived close to me on Yahoo! Messenger.  We talked quite a while.  I felt comfortable and familiar with him.  He was nice.  He talked a lot about his niece and his brother.  They lived together and he and his brother owned a business together.  I was about 25 at the time.  We just talked.  We never talked about us being a different race at all beside the first day we met when he asked me had I ever dated a white guy before.  Before I told him that I had, he seemed nervous and jumpy like he was afraid someone was hiding in my house ready to jump out and rob him.

I ended up really liking him.  He got extra points because he got along with my cat.  When we ended up in the bedroom, we were both very comfortable with each other.  He asked me lots of questions about what I liked and didn’t like.  I thought it was sweet.  He asked me could he talk dirty to me when we were in the act.  I mumbled yeah.  He began to say all kinds of things but I wasn’t really paying attention to it.  Right before he was about to release, he put his mouth right up to my ear and asked, “Can I call you a “nigger bitch” while I cum?”  I froze and yelled no pushing him off me, off the bed.  His whole face was red.  He quickly put on his clothes.  I had my phone in my hand.  He was afraid I was calling someone.  He ran out of the door.  I cried so hard that I fell to sleep.  I never felt that low in my life.

I’m not saying that all guys would do this, but I have this fear now that my skin color will be exoticized.  That some man will want me just because he wants the “black woman experience”.  That I will be a number on some guy’s bucket list.  Afraid that I will fall in love with a man and he will do to me what this woman’s husband is doing to her.  I don’t think my heart could handle that.

Girlfriend vs. Whore

Men are great, but not really.  I don’t understand them.  They don’t understand us.  All of our feeling are mutual.  We have these stupid roles we have to play in life, but nobody has a script.  This unspoken list of rules, taboos, I guess.  Men can do what ever they want.  It’s not fair!

Men can do things that women can’t.  Things that if a woman did, it would change her value.  Relationships are especially vulnerable to this.  It’s the different between being the whore and the girlfriend.  For instance, a man would give a whore a cum shot to the face, but it would be disrespectful if he did it to his girlfriend.  If girlfriend during sex asked boyfriend to give her a cum shot to the face, he would have all kinds of wtf feelings.  He will get intimidated by her sexuality, wtf feelings would have him wondering did he make a whore his girlfriend. “Whoretivity” is off limits for girlfriends.  He wants her to be good in bed, but not too good.  Good at head, but not a “dickspert”.  It’s confusing.  But if you are bad at sex, its just as awful.

In this instance, women wish men were more like them.  We don’t want good in bed, we want great.  We don’t ask questions about where you learned how to do this or that.  We don’t care!!! We are just glad you know!  We will even try to improve on what you are already doing.  We don’t wonder if you ran through the girls basketball team in high school.  We brag to our friends!   Sometimes we don’t have to say a word.  Just show up to work smiling and they know you just got your back cracked.

Men and women talk about bad sex, however.  Men talk just as much as women.  I remember overhearing a guy one of my friends used to date tell someone that she gave dry head.  He was still dating her!  I couldn’t believe he told someone that.  A woman would never admit to people that the man she sleeps with every night was horrible in bed unless the relationship was on the rocks.  My ex lived with me seven months.  I can attest to this.  Even the chick he cheated on me with said the sex was bad.

In fact, almost every time I heard about bad sex it was either a one night stand or a relationship on the rocks.  However, I can not count the amount of times when guys have talked to me about someone who was lose, dry, wore out, a dead fish, smelly….  I have heard it all.  Only men can do that.  Men will say, “Wow girl! That was so good.  The last chick I was with didn’t have any walls.”  Now imagine if a woman said after sex, “Wow, that was good!  The last guy I was with came too fast!”  He would have mad wtf feelings.

So in the meantime, women will have to moderate their sexual prowess if they want to be the girlfriend and not the whore or accused of “whoretivity”.  We will continue to babysit the male ego for what it is worth.  Some men may beg to differ, but I know better…