Yeah, so if you haven’t figured it out by now. I love a jarring title. I have a rant about negative comments about black men and women ranting about each other and how they are quick to run to other cultures who want to point out our “shortcomings” too. So I was on Facebook and one of my friends posted a video of an Indian man bashing black women. Several men chimed in on the bashing. I am sitting here thinking, what can this Indian possible know about enough black women that he can make such a generalizing video? I am a black woman and I can’t even do that in a way that would be absolutely correct. However, it had me thinking about cultural differences that indeed make us different from other women. Yes we can be bitches sometimes, but you really could lay off.
The huge difference with black women is that we don’t have advocates and for every ratchet woman, there is an equally ratchet man that will fuck her and praise her for having a fat ass. Women from other cultures are held at high esteem, valued, and respected as wives, mothers, and sisters for the most part. Good black women with feminine, submissive natures are not valued. We tend to not feel appreciated for our gentle nature, intelligence, modesty, and vulnerability. So most, in a vain attempt to gain favor with the many men who call women baby and ho in the same sentence, can show her attention.
Women want attention even more than they want respect and men want respect much more than they want attention. Having hos gets them respect from men and attention from women. Because black women are overwhelming interested in dating other black men and the disdain that black men show to the world makes her less attractive to men from other cultures. This behavior is a byproduct of men showing women that they are attracted to. I don’t understand why we bash each other when we learn from each other what the other one wants. Because I am nice, submissive, not a bitch, and not willing to club hop while bending over for 4 hours waiving a fat ass in the air, my dating pool is much smaller than a woman who will. Next time a black man or black woman bash each other, they should think about how they personally contribute to that behavior.
When I was younger, I too was a victim of being attracted to bad boys because that is what the media and society was brainwashing me into believing I should be attracted too. In movies, black love is often shown to be tumultuous, violent, unfaithful, and over-sexed. The only time black men and women get along on TV and movies is when they are fucking. We rarely see true, deep, and passionate love between black men and women; only good sex. That is why it is so easy for our bodies to be sexualized. It is why we are often blamed for our own rapes. Why even though teen pregnancy is declining in the black community but rising in the white community, and single parenthood is just as prevalent in blacks and whites, we are still looked at as hyper sexed. Men are victims of the images too. They see the men with multiple women, women who often have nothing going for them except good looks who are largely attracted to men based on looks, money, power, and success. Since most men do not have the means to reach the kind of success that is mostly shown to blacks; rappers, sport players, and movie stars; that leaves mostly the hood stars. The drug dealers with money, the gang members with power, and the successful men who are either too busy to date, already taken, still chasing hoes, or prefer a status symbol over genuine love.
The men and women that speak the loudest are heard. We women hear that our value and treatment depends on our level of physical attractiveness in a world where our skin and hair is not considered the most beautiful. We hear that only a woman with this size breast, waist, and ass is worthy of admiration. When our young girls hear their favorite rapper say they are worthless if they don’t have a fat ass and would look better if they had lighter skin. Love songs are now fuck songs. We live in a world when men largely ignore you if you are conservative in bed or refuse to perform oral sex and call you a ho for laying in the bed he invited you to. We live in a world where our men are told they are not allowed to show any emotions except anger but are expected to survive in a society in which the one emotion they are left intact with can get them killed or imprisoned, often wrongfully. We live in a world where women claim to want a good man but will crawl through the depths of hell to be with a man only because he makes her squirt or buys her things in exchange for pussy. They sneak around on their boyfriends and husbands to fuck you because the one they are with is providing a more desirable service of security, housing, finances, and father figure to her children but can’t make her legs shake or throw her over the back of the couch and fuck her like Tyrone with no job and a lengthy criminal record does.
We are all in this together though the tides tip more in favor of black men because at lease he has overwhelming support from black women that she often lack from her brothers and other men as well. We are each other’s greatest advocate, or supposed to be. It breaks my heart that the only connection we seem to be maintaining is between our private parts.